As I begin my new journey in life trying to become healthier, I’ve stopped and pondered about the road I took in my life. I understand that each step I took and each corner I turned, lead me to where I am today. Am I better off for it, who knows? All I know is that I did make some wrong choices and gave the wrong answers. 

I also know that there where some that I had feelings for but wouldn’t even share my feelings and when I did get the courage to say them, I was always rejected.  Now I understand, that what didn’t kill me made me stronger.

So know I speak my mind, tell people how I feel and fight for what I want. I am a better person, a stronger person, I am who I was meant to be…Myself.

I am really enjoying feeling better since starting my new healthier life style. I have more energy, I sleep better and my joints not hurting as much. Drinking more water has helped me as well. It’s detoxing my body and helping drop water weight, the only draw back is pissing like a race horse.

To all those who know me and my love life, they could say it’s rather “crazy”. All I know is that at this moment in my life, yes I am ready to have that person to grow old with, but I also understand if that will never come. Right now I have feelings for someone that, I don’t know if I have a chance with. We’ve been friends for many years and I had feeling for her for a long time but never been able to tell her, but I know her life right now she wouldn’t be able to return these feeling or even if she could. All I know is that I want to spend time with her and just be there in that moment in time.

I have always had music in my life. I grew up in the church and when I out grew it, I was in the choir in high school. I’ve played in youth bands in grade school. I’ve ether played music or sang, music has been a part of me, it’s time I bring it back.

Yes I was dumped,it was the “let’s be friends” line. Here is the thing I know that out in internet land,there is someone who has been waiting for me to post this so they can make all the jokes in the world. What to know a secret? I don’t fucking care. See I have grown as a person both mentally and emotively. I know that there are some people that the only way they can feel good about themselves is to make fun of others,which is kind of sad. Life is too short to live inside a bubble of hate, aggression,self-loathing and disrespect. If you look at yourself and see that the people that you think are laughing with you are really laughing at you,then you’ll realize that your not who you think you are. Each day that you spread hate towards your fellow man it comes back on you 10 fold. Hate breads hate,but if you love and understand your fellow man that good things will come your way. Once you love yourself then others will see you in a new light and will welcome you with open arms. Seeing now that yes I really didn’t like who I was and I thought that no one would like me for who I was,but these last few weeks I saw that yes there was someone out there that would like me for me. Maybe it is meant to be and I have to let the “pot on the stove” brew a longer time. Time heals all wounds if you let it. There is a line in the song “Amazing” by Areosmith that sums this up. “Life’s a journey,not a destination.” So remember on the road of life,take the scenic route. You’ll see what Life has to offer.